Thursday, May 18, 2006

it's a sweet, sweeet closure. you're one person i can get smashed in front of, too, i promise.

i've moved (on)

bye guys!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

The next planet was inhabited by a tippler. This was a very short visit, but it plunged the little prince into deep dejection.
"What are you doing there?" he said to the tippler, whom he found settled down in silence before a collection of empty bottles and also a collection of full bottles.



"I am drinking," replied the tippler, with a lugubrious air.
"Why are you drinking?" demanded the little prince.
"So that I may forget," replied the tippler.
"Forget what?" inquired the little prince, who already was sorry for him.
"Forget that I am ashamed," the tippler confessed, hanging his head.
"Ashamed of what?" insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him.
"Ashamed of drinking!" The tipler brought his speech to an end, and shut himself up in an impregnable silence.
And the little prince went away, puzzled.
"The grown-ups are certainly very, very odd," he said to himself, as he continued on his journey.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The Sims is the only video game I have ever purchased and I still don't know if it was worth the fifty bucks. Anyway, I was young then, prolly struggling with the first or second year of teenage. Eager to grow up, I created my first Sim and wanted to peep into adulthood through his (her?) eyes. [The irony is that you stop yearning to grow up when you're nearly there. Life, what else.] Contrary to the more widely held opinion that The Sims players like to create characters that lead outrageous and cool lives, most players really just want to create a perfect replica of the lives they already have. Yours truly included.

So I designed my, or rather, her home exactly the way I envision my own to be, perused papers to find the perfect job that she (I) aspire to have (too bad I think she was only good enough to be some security personnel, at least it was the job which paid the best. which also, reveals my solid love for mooolah) and made her do the stuff I will usually do, or am supposed to anyway. Perhaps I was thinking, if that's a life I'd desire, I might as well live it now. Or maybe by leading her life (which is my desired one), I would find it really not as appealing. Then I sort of get a second chance. Okay, doesn't really make sense.

I chose her face, her hairstyle, color, costume and then I was told to select her personality traits. I thought it's gonna be chicken feet because I just need to increase certain percentages here and there. Like whether she's outgoing or cheerful or negative or really disgustingly bad tempered.

Hell no, it's so tough because nobody truly knows how they act. I realize I've never met anyone I'd classify as self aware. Most extroverted people think they are introverts, and many introverted make a similarly wrong-headed juxtaposition about being extroverts. See why extroverts won't shut up (because they always fear they're not talking enough) while introverts just sit on the couch and do nothing (ecause they assume everyone is waiting for them to keep quiet) The same goes for people who claim that they are "creative". It only means he understands what is perceived as creative by the majority and thus you're just following a rote creative template. Having said that, that is really the opposite of creativity.

So people, don't start labelling me just because you read the stuff I write. Simply because, really, I have no idea who I really am. What makes you think you know?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

damn contradictory. totally wrong la.

Monday, May 01, 2006

i didnt want to leave, but you kept pushing me away.

now i'm all set to move on, what have you got to say


i didnt want to leave, but you kept pushing me away.

now i'm all set to move on, what have you got to say


She says days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire


Light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own and she's alright

Sunday, April 23, 2006

knowing what you have does not mean you can come to terms with what you've lost.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

even at this point in time, i don't want to hear snide remarks about you. i hide the truth because i don't want them to hate you. because when you bruise, i feel the pain too.

i love my bitchy nj girls. thank you so much.